Put my head on my shoulder :}

A Letter to 1st July 2008 me:

Hi, it's my 23rd-years here now 
as a promise to my self, I'm writing to answer myself a few question:

Asked by 1st July me: 
1: Am I your source of motivation?
Answered by 6th July me:
Dear 1st July Mc, I recalled and then I realized, every movement I made, is motivated by the previous seconds' me, I'm activated, by my source of inspiration, which are dreams, that you've made.

2: How have I surprise you lately?
I am not sure, who surprised me, whether it is your brain, or you, or your dream? Memory on dreams lately amazed me, you gave me puzzles!

3: What do you find interesting about me or the me from past dates?
I suppose the decisions you'd made, quite few are rather disappointing. However those results really did brought a lil sparkle to my life, which makes me interesting, in not so a unique way. I would not blame on you as I have no where to know who am I yet, so randomness is understandable for now. 

*  *   *

I am afraid I do not feel any younger at the moment, I still feel as what I was yesterday. 23-year-old mankind, OH I feel slight ashamed now, seeing I have not fulfill my wish in lifting hopes, be inspiring to others, I have not reach my barrier, nor find it, to break it. I feel (tu).

I miss home more, now. Idea of giving out resign letter keeps popping up in my mind, I do feel it will be good to do it but I am timid, and lazy. 

How should I react toward typicality, stereotypical questions, and devil's slave?
I do nothing to 'em most of the time, sometimes I reversed the stereotypical question to see how it sounds to be not typical, sometimes I try to think typically, and found that I do not know where there heck does typical question come from, but I suspect, it came from: ignorance, showmanship, lack-of-patient, uninspiring-impression-and-expression, no, wrong, lack-of-thought-im-expression. Becoming devil's slave, might due to 2 reasons, in my opinion: 
1) Love and responsibility, good reason, nothing to be ashamed of. Encouraging. It fulfills the element as human nature.
2) Out of greed, timid, laziness, and lost-of-soul, being lured, and gone.

How long do I need to take care of myself? before I get someone single to take care of me?
Maybe I should not take care of myself, to lead to a way to get hurt and to get growth. 

Think, mama said Me am Warm outside, and Cold inside. I sounded like a fried-ice-cream, or a skin-heated-with-chill-innerness mash-potato. Because of my arrogant?

No idea :}
I have no whatsoeva idea on what a 23-should be.

* * *

Mama, Papa, Pohpoh, I love you all :} I will sayang your daughter and granddaughter more :')
She will be beautiful, like you :P =)


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